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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Why do friends try to set me up with strange men?

Just yesterday, my dearest, funniest, oldest friend tried to set me up with a guy whom she lives vicariously through. "He travels a lot, he has a lot of friends and he goes away for long weekends making jewelry in the woods!" And then it dawns on me- This is the guy she tried to set me up with years ago, right after my divorce who is a freaking minstrel at the King Richard's Faire. Yes, a king's playmate, someone who wears tights and bells and traipses around the woods on the autumnal solstice, presumably noshing on giant turkey legs and singing tales of woe accompanied by a small wooden guitar and a monkey. Ummm, no thanks sweetie. I'd rather be single on a Friday night with a good book than contemplate me becoming his lady in waiting, clad in a floor length velour ensemble skipping through pine needle forests, thank you. But please do continue offering me up your single friends. Sooner or later I'll find Mr. Right:)

3 comments:

  1. Sounds like fun! You could be like the singing minstrel in the Holy Grail following Sir Robin around making clip clop noises with a couple of coconut halves...

    Minstrel: [singing] Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis...
    Sir Robin: That's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads... looks like there's dirty work afoot.

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  2. Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

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  3. No way!! Hooray! Thank you Krista:)

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